Struggling with depression

I don’t even know if I should be writing this, but I had to let this out and, hopefully some of you will understand.

So the other I went out with my brother and my friends and we were discussing my brothers’ job (he’s a paramedic) and me and my brother both gave our point of view which was that when he finishes his job he doesn’t want to go out and have drinks. Which I agreed and said:”Can you imagine what it’s like to have a bad day where a person dies in your arms? Of course he doesn’t want go out on those days” And they agreed but then the subject swichted from my brothers’ job to depression and, as I’ve been dealing with it since I’m 12, I exposed my point of view. Of course this was not well taken by one of my brothers’ friends, he said:”Oh must have such an experience with depression!” I replied:”Actually I do, more than you think” He asked my age and when I said I was 17 he said laughing:”17 and depressed?! Oh my…You’re gonna die young!”

At that moment I tried my best not to cry, seeing that my feelings were being so devalued, and, obvioulsy I couldn’t do anything about it. It hurt that I was not taken seriously just because of my age, because of me being so young. I defended myself and he laughed at my face.

My friend said I’d meet a lot of people like him in the future, and I said:”Trust me I know I will” She told me to toughen up. Which is not a bad advice, I could use that.

But I was shocked to see how some people take mental illnesses so light headed when a teen says they suffer from it. I know so many teens who don’t speak up because of this. I didn’t! It took me a lot to say that and to put myself in that vulnerable position, and he just laughed at me.  It has been 3 days and I still can’t take that off my head.

After that whole situation, I came home, went to skype with my boyfriend and went to sleep, I think I slept more than 12 hours in a row, I only woke up at 3 pm the other day.

I know this may be boring, but I really needed to talk about this somewhere. Hope you understand.

             Stay Strong, Alice.


2 thoughts on “Struggling with depression

  1. Keep talking its good to talk about it! My depression was REALLY bad in high school. I didn’t know how to deal with it then even. I’ve learned how my mind works and reacts over the years and the patterns of my depression…so its gotten easier over time to deal with. Even if it doesn’t go away it’s possible to live with and have a good life, so don’t give up :). And there’s tons of people on this site that understand and are fighting alongside you so you’re not alone.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much really, that means a lot to me, I’m glad that I finnally found a community where I can talk about everything that’s a part of my life without getting weird looks 🙂


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